Happy Fall, y’all! On today’s episode, we discuss the impact of the divisive American female archetype-turned-meme: Christian Girl Autumn. We dive into the domestic coziness of mommy blogging, Target’s neo-hearth-and-home merchandising, growing up in proximity to youth group sex cults, and the infallible glam of crypto-Mormon influencers. Following our spiritual tithes to the reigning queens of fall The Pioneer Woman and Miss Christian Girl Autumn herself, Caitlin Covington, we wage war against Phoebe Bridgers and the notion of ‘spooky season,’ question the efficacy of ‘chosen families,’ forecast Protestant work ethic-chic as the next esoteric aesthetic, and doxx our Starbucks orders.